Momisms_December_2013

DD: How do you have so much confidence in yourself?

Path201X: I actually didn't have much when I was your age because unlike you, I didn't have a Mother that believed in me the way I believe in you.

DD: So how did you get confidence anyway?

Path201X: Like I said before, I wouldn't say I had much in high school although I appreared to be very successful on the outside. And when I flunked out of college due to my grades, my confidence took a MAJOR dive! But what I was and still am very good at doing is surrounding myself with people who believe in me. Unforntualtely, that now means that there are people I don't regularly communicate with about my goals like my mother, but I've learned to be ok with that. It is what it is.

DD: But I need to know EXACTLY what you did to be so confident?

Path201X: I made up this little matra that I started repeating to myself after I was readmitted to undergrad after being kicked out of school. I would say to myself " My brain is a sponge and I will use it to absorb EVERYTHING I can. I'm smart and I'm capable of achieving ANY academic goal set before me. I am focused and will work hard to make sure that happens". And I would say this to myself over and over and over again just before exams and any other academic task. When you were little, do you remember me singing a song that went "you are sma-art"?

DD: Yes, I found it a little annoying at the time. Plus you still sing it to me every now and then.

Path201X: Well I did that because I wanted to have that instilled in you, that you could do ANYTHING you set your mind to. I know Senior year has been hard and you're disappointed you didn't make honor roll for the first time since you've been in high school. But when you're not feeling confident, just think about that song I used to sing to you. And maybe come up with your own too!

DD: Okay, I'll try that on my next exams.


And so my kid who had struggled more this year than in all the years of high school combined, is now on her way to making the honor roll at her new school. And obviously I'm VERY proud. But I can also admit that I STILL say my "confidence mantra" to myself pretty regularly and will ALWAYS do so when needed.

My hope is that you too will find that special something you say to yourself to give you that extra confidence boost! Or feel free to borrow mine!

Fertilize your own damn grass!!

One of the things I'm guilty of career wise is not knowing when I should stick with what I have and not be tempted by something else that appears to be what I want. Some of this I attribute to having ADD as an adult, and some of it it just illogical thinking on my part.

So after doing a little more research into prospective PhD programs at my school, I'm right back to where I started in Biomedical/Health Informatics. AGAIN! URGH!!!

But this time the reason is made after VERY thorough thought to what I'd be losing by changing to another department and quite frankly, the job market. Sure, my heart ain't in Biomedical Informatics the way it's in Cancer Computational Biology/Cancer Biology, so I'm going to find a way, through my elective requirements, to MAKE IT MINE!!! Just like EVERYTHING else in life, NOTHING is 100% the way we'd like it to be. The people in my department are smart, kind to me, and open to EVERY educational dream I have, so how much sense would it make for me to leave such a supportive environment for one I know very little about? It's not only illogical, it's just a stupid idea.

So, my class schedule for next Spring is Health Informatics and a second semester Bioinformatics course. And in the meantime, I'm going to research Faculty in my department that can help me design my program such that my "heart" won't get left by the wayside.......while also attending seminars in Cancer Biology. ;)

Taking a sip from a fire hydrant, part 1

*image credit

The exponential growth in the amount of biological data available on the net is best compared to taking a drink from a fire hydrant, an analogy often compared to the medical school educational process. But unlike medical school info, this biological data can be written/stored in any number of programs using terms/codes that are often unique to who/where that data was created.

The slide below from my Bioinformatics course this semester illustrates just how significant the amount of available data is:

So where a MB of data was considered a LOT when I first started using computers on a regular basis in the early 90's, I'm certain we'll cross the yottabyte level in the next 5 years. And for the uninformed, that's 1 trillion terabytes, with ONE terabyte equal to 1 trillion bytes. YIKES!! That's a helluva' a lotta' data! MY question, what's the "end point", numerically speaking and how in the world will this data be stored, much less processed? Yeah, give me the medical school "fire hydrant" of info because that's small stuff compared to genomic data.

Moving on, one of the things I haven't really talked much about this year is my kid and let's just say that when you have a person straddling the line between smart mouthed teenager and adult AND is a Senior in high school applying to colleges, it can be a difficult thing. What I can say is that it would have been a COMPLETE disaster for me to be focused on full-time studies right now, because I would have lacked both the time or patience to "be there" the way I am now. So while I often wish I was in med school or at the least Residency, I also know I NEVER could have been the Mother I needed to be to my daughter. And this is as much about what she needs as what I need to do for her to feel like I've done my "job" as a Mother. One thing is for sure, I'll NEVER regret putting my academic goals on the back burner so to speak because I've so thoroughly enjoyed being there for her!

Get it in writing, ALWAYS!!!!

You'd think that by now, this isn't something someone my age doesn't already know. Which is why when I mentioned the "deal" my old company put on the table verbally regarding my position with the company, I added the following caveat in my 10/15/2013 post: "Assuming all this pans out of course, there's always a risk that things won't happen the way the company prez says, and if that's the case, I'll happily increase my client load and take the next graduate assistantship that comes in my school inbox.". Well in the world of business, NOTHING is what it seems until it's put on paper.

At the end of the day, NOTHING was put in writing which essentially meant that talk was cheap and NOT cash-able at ANY bank I can think of, LOL!! And that's why I pretty much take EVERYTHING I hear with a grain of salt especially when I realize I work with folks who would (and DID), work for free so that they could keep their work place visa which allows them in the US in the first place. And let me be clear, this is VERY common in the Scientist "industry" which is why wages are slow to grow and haven't increased much in almost 10 years. Yeah, Mr. Facebook, this is just what the average US trained Scientist needs, is a glut of competition from folks who'll work for free or for wages equivalent to what I made washing glassware back in the day. Yeah.

But because I know EVERYTHING happens for a reason, I immediately started looking for the silver lining in all this, and it didn't take long for me to find it. I now have to decide if I want to work on a PhD full-time with a FULL Scholarship/Fellowship beginning in the Fall of 2014 OR do I stick with plan "A", and shoot for med school in the Fall of 2015. Thing is, I realize that if I had jumped on that PhD bandwagon years ago, I'd be DONE by now and since the desire to earn an MD is NEVER going to go away, I'd be a much better employment situation in the location of MY choosing. And I have to qualify that because I get weekly inquiries about jobs in the US, so I remain thankful.

However while there are programs in place that will allow me to transfer to the combined MD/PhD program, there's the VERY strong possibility my age is going to be an issue for an Adcom. And yeah, I'm going there DIRECTLY because there's just NO other obstacle I see, given my record. Sure that probably sounds arrogant, but it's a fact. Just like it's a fact that there isn't enough research being done which is significantly beneficial to people of African descent, with our genetically heterogeneous selves. And turning down ANYONE qualified and committed to such a goal is just stupid IMHO. And medically reckless.

So with this in mind, my Spring schedule is STILL under evaluation as is the program I ultimately want to get my PhD in. Today, it seems to make MUCH more sense for me to go for a program I can transfer credits into and which I already have strong mastery of. And for the record, that ain't Computational Biology. It IS Cancer Biology and Pathology, so with a nearby program that integrates both areas within reach, I'm strongly considering that. And I'd use methods germane to Computational Biology of course, in light of the current employment outlook for PhD's. I mean, I find the program I'm currently in, Health Informatics, VERY interesting, but my heart just isn't in it.

So, this brings about a new term for where I seem to be going, Computational Cancer Biology or Cancer Informatics, both of which are a mouthful, LOL!!!

Green light, let's go!!

So it looks like I WILL be working at the major cancer center I first dreamed of working at TEN years ago. And it looks like I'll do so using a combination of the skills I've developed in Pathology and Computational Biology/Bioinformatics. The exact details of my new position aren't yet clear and are likely to change, it simply appears that I've come along at a GREAT time as the integration of genomic data starts to become part of the standard of care for patients fighting cancer. Put another way, the "bench" may FINALLY be reaching the "bedside" in ways never before seen in the history of the field of medicine and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Now the question may be what happened to my last position. Well, as soon as I sign on the bottom line for my new one, I'll fill you in. In the meantime, suffice it to say that if I NEVER work for a private company again that will be FINE be me, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, LOVE the financial stability of working at a major cancer center affiliated with a major university. So no dis, the majority of the people I worked with at my old gig with were really great and the things I learned there were amazing, but I DESPERATELY need a financially stable environment. However, what I can tell you now is that I will NOT miss the woman Scientist that rudely never spoke back to me during our weekly conference calls. NOT. ONE. BIT.

Moving on, I also learned I could start the PhD program and transfer into the MD/PhD program at a later date. And this is BY FAR the best news I could have received given my goals!! But I also know convincing a committee to award me a spot is going to be a vertical battle since the tired argument of the number of years I'll practice is bound to come up. And as I've mentioned a few times before, I've been hearing this ALL My life the ONLY thing that's different is the "story". Whatever, I've already got one part of my story down, Pathologists die at the scope in their 80's, ROTFL!! But I'm saving the rest for my personal statement, which I plan to post AFTER I get that acceptance in hand. Still I'm realistic that I'll likely have to do the programs separately, and I'm perfectly cool with that, because it is what it is!

Uh oh, yet another U-turn!!

So, yesterday I had a final interview for a position that can best be classified as Pathology Informatics which for me is essentially biomarker evaluation via histology, informatics to evaluate the information gleaned from the cancers of patients seen in the clinic, and even a little work in the clinic drawing blood from cancer patients. And as my regular readers might expect, this combo means that I'm happier than a Turkey "pardoned" the week of Thanksgiving!! :)

Ever go some place and KNOW within the core of your very being that you're in the right place, at the right time, surrounded by people who will see you become what you've ALWAYS wanted to be? I thought that to myself as I was being interviewed by the MD/PhD I'm destined to be working with, that he's not only going to see me excell in this posiiton, he's going to see me become an MD too!

Terrific Tuesdays!!

Actually, Tuesday is my very LEAST favourite day of the week, not really the beginning, middle, or end. Hmph!

So I've decided to try my best to lighten this day up for myself (and others) by posting funny science or medicine oriented images I find on the net.

And in celebration of my LOVE for cats and the fact that I'll be tutoring an Orgo I student over the next 5 days, I thought I'd kick off this Tuesday's series with the image on this post!

Enjoy!

And special shout out to all my fellow Chemists! :)

Watch out below!!!!

*Image from goodle images


URGH!!!!! UUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that feels much better....................................................NOT!!!!

This is just where I am right now and how I'm feeling about my Bioinformatics course too!! Double URGH!!!!!

So here's the problem, after TWO WEEKS of trouble shooting, I FINALLY got a program given in class to work. Why did it take ME so long? They use the Mac operating system (OS), and I use Ubuntu. Why do I use Ubuntu when almost NONE of the folks at school doing this type of work use it? Because in the "real world" of Bioinformatics, most folks program in Linux which is what Ubuntu based on. And in a field like computer science, a LOT of what you learn in school is not only obsolete by the time you finish your program, you can be pretty sure that in the "real world", no one or few people are using what you learned in school.

That said, many people in Bioinformatics use the Mac OS (like the NIH), it's just that since most Bioinformatics departments are made of Computer Scientists (who have honestly mucked it up IMHO), you have to learn to use the OS they frequently use. And this creates a situation where from an employment point of view, they'll always be needed since it's just too much trouble for the average Medical/Life Scientists (MLS) to be trained to do this stuff. Along those same lines, it's also the reason I sense a tiny bit of resentment from a couple of the computer scientists (CS) folks I work with. But I digress, the point I'm making is that taking the leap from Medical/Life Science to essentially computer science is the MOST challenging thing I've EVER done. But personality wise, I'm so well suited for it because: 1) I'm as tenacious as they come and 2) I enjoy challenge of leaning something new. And like it or not, a LOT of medical science and research is going to involve a significant amount of computer generated data (human genome, anyone?) in the future. So yeah, my code may not be as "pretty" as that from a CS person, but it's functional. More than that, other people like me can understand it because I write it in a way for folks like me to understand.

Here's an example of the disparate way of thinking between CS and MLS folks. CS person says their doing sequencing of a portion of Chromosome #24? MLS says that there is no chromosome #24, there are 22 pairs of chromosomes and a pair of sex chromosomes, unless you're talking about a person with Downs Syndrome or Klinefelter's Syndrome. So if CS sends you a file referencing chromosome #25 to MS, the MS has a few questions to ask. You see CS folks are typically VERY bright, but they don't have the type of training folks in the clinical and life sciences have. And that's the HUGE gap in why EHRs don't work that well, but that's a conversation for another day.

The fact that I spend as much time looking at the results of my programs as I do troubleshooting it, is just the way it is for a newbie like me. And what I hope to do as I'm developing skills in this area, is to create resources that will not only be of use to me, but to others who think like me too.

Now I must get back to doing sequence alignments for a portion of the human chromosome Y, NOT chromosome #25 and NOT a male with Klinefelter's Syndrome either.

Getting down to the nitty gritty!

So this week my department is having their first journal club meeting and I'm beyond excited !! And not just because we're going to get free food, LOL!!! It will be first time this semester I'll get to meet all or most of the students in my department and the faculty as well.

I also volunteered to lead one of the seminars so I'll be busy looking for something really cool and interesting to discuss. Of course, it will either involve breast or prostate cancer and the bioformatics tools used to study these diseases. This will also be my opportunity to impress a few adcoms since a few of them are in my department (And I did the research to find that out ;))

And that brings me to a topic of critical importance to supernontrads (over 40 premeds) like me. What are you actively doing to get yourself admitted to med school? Are you kicking back expecting a med school acceptance to magically drop at your feet or are you working to the MAX, whatever you have to work with? At that's the key, work to the MAX whatever YOU have to work with. For example, so what if there are no "good" schools for you to complete your preqs, what does that have to do with the fact that you need to make an "A" in your classes no matter where you take them? So what if you're the oldest in the class, do you act old? Do you blame mediocre grades on getting old? STOP making excuses for mediocrity and get with the "success" program!!!

PS- Please allow me to clear up the misconception that I've got everything under control in this premed process, because NOTHING could be further from the truth. I simply thrive in chaos to a certain extent which is why I rarely get up in arms about all the things I balance in my life including PhD classes, raising a teenager, running a business, studying for the MCAT, and an internship in Bioinformatics. In fact, most days when I look at my tasks surrounding school/my gig, I feel like I have to climb Mount Everest up hill BOTH ways, ROTFL!! But the sense of accomplishment I feel at the end of the day more than makes what I'm dealing with worth it!

In other words, if you're not enjoying this process at least some of the time, then you may need to rethink your motivation for doing it.

I've got your back!

Well this is not exactly what my advisor said, but that was the general gist of what he meant when I told him that I wanted to attend med school after I finish the program. And I can't describe how good it feels to be supported in what you want to do, however outlandish it is for people in my age range. Turns out there are a few of us in my program heading to med school so the next thing I need to do is get to know my classmates better, attend seminars in my department, ect so I can get my "face" out there.

However he also suggested I consider the MS program because I could very easily get it paid for. And I wasn't really prepared to tell him that what I really wanted to do was the MD/PhD program concentrating in Biomedical Informatics. At least not yet, but I am going to look into it since the program would be free.

And all this brings up an important point for nontrads especially SUPER nontrads, GO WHERE YOU ARE OR WILL BE WELCOMED!! I say to hell with trying to be the first at a certain school like you, go some place where people like YOU are welcomed! Now for the supernontrad (over 40), this may be more difficult in that you'll likey be 10 years older than the person whos age is nearest to yours, but you get my drift. Avoiding places that will easily put you down for being a super nontrad (Hopkins, anyone?), is the absolute smartest thing you can do to keep your spirits up and your dreams alive!

Fork in the proverbial road

So it's time for me to pick my class for next semester but I have a decision to make first. Do I want to focus more on the "health" side of biomedical informatics or the "research" side of biomedical informatics? And after interning for the past several months focusing primarily on the research side of things, I've decided that the "health" side is where I want to focus my efforts, moving forward. And I'm sure that comes as quite a surprise to anyone that reads my blog regularly.

So why the change? I finally realized that focusing on the "research" side of bioinformatics is going to pretty much mean becoming a computer programmer, and I'm simply NOT interested in doing that. NOT. AT. ALL. The biggest issue however is that many of the opportunities in the field require a PhD, so it doesn't "feel" like a good holding spot for me until I start med school if I'm going to be limited. However, the most important reason is that I'm interested in clinical uses of the data I manipulate, NOT the code used to do the analysis. And if I'm really being real, I miss being around "people, people".

All of these deep thoughts I've had since my last post, come about due in no small part to being around Clinicians at school and quite frankly, needing to be prepared to meet with my academic advisor tomorrow. And I think I have my "story" down pat about the whys and what's next for my career in the next 1.5 years as I complete my certificate in Biomedical Informatics. At the end of the day though, I know these types of inner conversations are important if for no other reason than to stay focused and on course with what my ultimate goal is, to attend medical school in the near future.

Fullfillment of a dream..........................

So, anyone who's been reading my blog long enough may recall my mentioning a certain cancer center and my STRONG desire to do research there one day. And that was a little more than TEN years ago. Well yesterday, my classroom was changed to a location AT this cancer center. And what can I say, from the moment I turned onto the street to park my car, the tears started flowing (as they are now as I'm trying to write this post).

Now I've mentioned on more than one occasion how much of a cry baby I can be about things that tug at my heart strings. And while I was looking for the parking garage at this amazing facility, I saw a Black family, mother, daughter, and father leaving the hospital, the Dad, being pushed in a wheelchair by his daughter. So what's so emotional about that? He looked exactly like my father and was leaving the cancer clinic. And all I could think about is how blessed he is to have his family there as he was being discharged from the hospital and of my own past, pushing my Dad in a wheelchair following his cancer surgery. The very next overwhelming feeling I had was about how this, right here, right now, was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be, but more importantly, WHEN I was supposed to be here.

Then I really did get my ugly cry on, LOL!!!

I can't put into words that feeling you have when every obstacle you've had now makes sense, every path you've taken (however long it was) now makes sense, but there's NO doubt in my mind that everything, both good and bad, was what I needed to happen to get me HERE. And where exactly is HERE?

HERE is the mindset that says NOTHING and NO ONE will deter me from my God ordained path, pun intended. My classroom didn't end up next to the pathology department by accident. I didn't see those Residents napping next to where I sat to have coffee before class by accident. And seeing a Black family leaving the cancer center hospital, end up in the crosswalk in front of my car was no accident either.

The fact that these facilities are beautiful, world class, and state of the art with the leading cancer folks in the world is kinda moot. The fact that my path to med school just got that much more focused and clear is what really counts!

I'll end this post with this Katy Perry song which says what I'm feeling better than I can:

Fur-Low!

As the title indicates (in a very mispelled kinda way), I've been furloughed by the company I work for. And it's strange because I forgot we had a gov't contract until the moment they were telling us we were furloughed. Umm.

At any rate, working 75+ hours since mid August has REALLY taken a toll, so I'm going to be one of few people in the US who has been furloughed who's actually going to ENJOY this time off. And in my case, I'm not really going to be off per se', I'll still be working, albeit part-time and unpaid (for now) in Bioinformatics, and increasing my tutoring hours (THANK GOD for a well paying second gig!!) And the arrangement that I was sooooooo very blessed to put in place after they gave us the news yesterday will require that I essentially work "non paid" for the next 2-3 weeks while the company does some "financial restructuring". Then, I'll come back to work full-time as a PERMANENT employee and a HIGHER income (I think my official title is going to be Biologist, though I'm trying to come up with something a little more snazzy, LOL). The biggest catch of all is that I'll get back pay at a rate of 1.5 times my intern salary ~ 2 pay periods from now for the time I work "unpaid". So, mid November is going to be kinda nice!:) Assuming all this pans out of course, there's always a risk that things won't happen the way the company prez says, and if that's the case, I'll happily increase my client load and take the next graduate assistantship that comes in my school inbox.

In other words, I shall have a TALL glass of lemonade with plenty of natural brown sugar, with this load of lemons!! :)

So for whatever reason, this was the first song that came to my mind as I was leaving work yesterday, "Path201x got fur, low, low, low, low, low, low, low, lowed", ROTFLMBO!!'

Where I'm going to..........................

One of the real difficulties with where I am professionally in my life right now is the obvious that I'm not in medical school yet and desperately want to be. But another difficult reality I had until last evening was that I wasn't able to specifically articulate what I wanted to be doing with my professional life within the next 10 years, or of how what I'm doing now would fit into my future. That was, until I read the following paper last evening, "Personalized Oncology Through Integrative High-Throughput Sequencing: A Pilot Study". And here's the link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3476478/pdf/nihms-413659.pdf.

This paper suggests formation and use of a Sequencing Tumor Board which is essentially a team of professionals with training in oncology, genetics, genomics, bioinformatics, pathology, social and behavioral sciences, and ethics that interpret and make clinical recommendations based on sequencing data. And the SUPER great news for me is that EVERYTHING I'm doing right now and a LOT of what I've done in the past, including my MD goals of becoming a Pathologist, would fit in perfectly with such a professional goal.

Now, I understand perfectly well that careers often take paths different from what we imagine, but I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when I realized that the circuitous path I've taken in my professional career could come together quite usefully and in an extremely academically engaging way, by my participation on a Sequencing Tumor Board. At least for those years I'm working for "da man", my ultimate goal STILL, is to work for myself.

And speaking of building my business, I thought that once I finish medical school, I would expand my offerings to include test prep for the USMLE. That's a LONG way off from now I know, but a business owner/future Pathologist has gotta keep those ideas and goals FLOWING, LOL!!!

So I'll leave my readers with this 1970's gem with the hope that we ALL on some level, KNOW where we're going to!!!

Feeling crab-ulous!

Most of the time when people ask me how I'm feeling, I usually respond with an enthusiastic FABULOUS!! But with temps STILL in the 90's, allergies flaring up that I didn't even know I had, I'm feeling pretty crappy these days. Add an asthma attack/a switch to more powerful meds to control it, and I'm feeling kinda low. But I KNOW without eqiovocation that I'm blessed just the same!!

Recently, I've received quite a few Bioinformatics job inquiries most of which have been in Maryland and that makes me feel great! But when I think about the cost of living/what you get for your buck in Maryland, the rudeness of the people who live there, and the state income tax, I grab myself a cool glass of cherry lemonade, "sat my a$$ down" somewhere and count my blessings, as the ol' folks used to say. I've really got a great life here in hot a$$ Texas!

The one thing that pains me more than ANYTHING these days is how much I want to become a Doctor and I use the word pains because so much of what I'm doing now requires medical knowledge, oncology and pathology informatics skills, to be exact. And I know it's all VERY good preparation for my future, I just wish my future in med school would just get here already!


PS- Shout out to my girl Iris and the medical student sitting 2 rows behind me (URGH) for keeing me focused!


PSS- PLEASE excuse the typos all of which I hope have been corrected, I can't see worth a darn, posting on an iPad, ROTFL!!!

A picture says 1000 words......................

Yeah, I LOVE Hot A$$ Texas!!! And it's freakin' SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!

Letting my hair down!!

Or should I say putting my hair on, LOL!! I haven't found a hairdresser yet nor have I been trying hard to find one. So I HAD to find myself a good wig shop until that happens. Now I'm sure most of my readers know very little about wigs and I was the same way until I lost my hair a few years ago after a bad perm. But I come from a family where wearing a wig is like wearing underwear, EVERYONE does it. Still, I was real hesitant for reasons I don't understand now, because "I keeps" me a few nice wigs on my dresser.

Speaking of fake hair, I can't for the ENTIRE life of me figure out why 99.99999% of the African women here wear weaves. And I'm NOT exaggerating either. Now I don't mean any harm by saying this, but if you need a trough of lye to get your edges straight, you should probably pass on the Brazilian butt length wavy weave, but alas, it seems the nappier the "edges" are, the longer the weave is, LOL!! (Side note, anyone that needs a translation of that, let me know).

Other news, I had to let my dental student go because I realized that a dental student that doesn't know that there are 1000 millgrams in a gram, probably needs FAR more help than I can provide for a student who's supposed to be taking Dental Biochemistry.

And because I promised my family I would get off the computer by 9:00PM, I have to go, but I hope to update again REAL soon!

Just keep swimming!!

Finding Nemo is one of my favorite children's movies and the Ellen Degeneres character is absolutely adorable.....and these days, her line from the movie to just keep swimming is the story of my life!

Between the kid that started her senior year of high school, me starting a doctoral Bioinformatics course, my internship complete with a dude who thought it was a friendly and welcoming gesture to ask me why I was needed at the company, and home search, my life is the epitome of busy in a VERY stressful way.

My kid is learning the hard way that Mom is NOT supposed to take care of EVERYTHING for her, so her finding a sense of personal responsibility is LONG overdue. My class is going GREAT but there's a good chance I may not be able to continue if my immunization stuff doesn't get processed soon. And I mean next week soon! My tutoring business is going so well that I'm turning down potential clients almost everyday now. But I may need another one soon if the new SUPER triflin', Howard Dental student doesn't get her self together FAST!!! As it relates to the VERY old home search, because of my good fortune career wise (I've been tentatively offered a permanent, almost 6 figure gig starting in 3 weeks), we quickly went from looking for a home, to a dream home! And I mean a pool, golf course dream home. Now I know for some of my readers, many of you have already "arrived" at whatever your dream home status is for you, but I've always tied this dream to my finishing medical school. Not anymore, I've decided that I'm going to live NOW while I can, and let other stuff fall into place when it does. Lastly, the Internship is where I'm getting workaholic "grief" because I'm working 50+ hour weeks trying to deal with the vertical learning curve. And quite frankly, when you're the ONLY Black and one of ONLY 2 women, that vertical learning curve takes on extra verticalness. But I'm MORE than prepared thanks to that disastrous stint in death Pharma recently. And it's an obvious plus when you so enjoy your work (can I getta' what, what for cancer research?) Plus, the other woman in the group, a beautiful Indian Computer Scientist, and I have decided to tag team on their a$$e$, feminine power style, ROTFL!!!

So with all that said, life is truly good right now and I'm so thankful to be in a "peak" period in my life! And I know without equivocation that all this busy-ness, stress, and learning is good preparation for medical school!

My HUGE announcement............................

..........I'M GOING TO BECOME A PATHOLOGIST, ROTFL!!!!

Okay, so maybe that's not such a HUGE announcement after all, but given that I'm spending a considerable amount of time reading slides and looking at Gleason scores, I'm feeling pretty certain that my path, pun intended, is getting clearer EVERY day.

Not that it was ever distorted, it's kinda hard sometimes to stay focused when you've got jerks AKA nasty people you work with at places, death Pharma , where you shouldn't be working, trying their best to keep you off your game. But then God blesses you in a HUGE way and you're reminded that if you dare to step out on faith, like relocating to a hot a$$ Midwestern state where you don't have a full-time gig, you'll be rewarded ten fold for being obedient. And that's my VERY convoluted way of saying that not only are my Pathology skills coming into play in my Bioinformatics gig, my main project is on prostate cancer, which excites me BEYOND belief!!!

So with that said, it's an understatement to say that my first week on my new gig was a blast and that I'm going to enjoy this ride until med school matriculation in 2015!

Brush the chip off your shoulders

So today is the first day of my internship/audition for a real gig, LOL!! Add I realize as I think about my last gig working in "death Pharma" that I may have just a bit of a chip on my shoulder for all the $hit I dealt with working there. So I'm praying REAL hard that I can keep that in check and make the most of an experience I've been waiting over 2.5 years to have.

Other things going on in my life right now is that my kid is working on what may end up being her first "boyfriend". And that's really great news because now maybe my Mom will stop asking me if she's a lesbian. Maybe it's me, but if a girl takes her time growing up, that should be celebrated on some level especially in the Black community. But it's a sentiment I've heard before from members of my family, if a person isn't into the opposite sex as much as others think is "normal" for their age, they're assumed to be gay. Now how dumb is THAT?!?!

So this guy is a 19 year old Engineering major she met at her Engineering internship this summer where my daughter was the ONLY female and one of only 2 black kids. He's also White, which I personally find hilarious as I think about the look her father would have on his face if he knew about this, ROTFL! Now me, in light of our multicultural background, I'm cool with the White boy. But there's just something about Black girls/women with White boys/men that seems to rub most Black men the wrong way. And that kinda tees me off since many of the ones with problems including her father, have dated White women. Of course, I DO take issue with the fact that this young man is technically an adult and my kid is just 16 about to be 17 so of course, I'm monitoring this situation VERY carefully. But then I remember that when I was turning 17, my boyfriend was a college freshman and though I'd dated him when we both were in high school, he was STILL an adult while I was a technically a kid.

Other news is that I've decided NOT to take the MCAT, I just didn't have much time to actively study given everything else I had going on this summer. So I'll definitely shoot for a Spring date as soon as the dust settles in my life.

I'll end this post with a song by my favorite rap artist which is most definitely appropriate as I begin the first day of my new career in Biomedical Informatics: