My new gig is going very well primarily because I've chosen to focus on all the nice and caring caregivers (pun intended) I work with and the great work in patient care I observe while ignoring as much as I can, the less pleasant parts of it. Like the fact that the fly Surgeon I thought I would be working with primarily, has been replaced by a "suit". And it's not like the fly Doc and I won't be working together at all, just that the "suit" will have some say in what I do. And while it may seem on the outside a bad thing (because he's neither a Scientist nor a Doc), it's actually a GREAT thing because it means that there's no way in hell I won't attempt to "bust a move" to med school in the VERY near future. Plus the fact that I spent tumor board sitting in between med students from 2 Texas schools, I'll be constantly reminded that there's something else I'm going to do in my life. All that said, the main purpose of this "meantime" gig will be to learn to manage my current Supv situation with the utmost of finesse since those skills will come in handy in med school. The other really wonderful part is all that I'm learning soooooooooooo much working with Clinicians!!! Yeah, it's an understatement to say that I'm blessed that I get to do this important work at a hospital that serves the less fortunate at this time in my wonderful life!! WOW!!!! The other really meaningful revelation I've had relates to the THREE, count em', THREE promises for a gig a PI made to me between last Fall, to as recently as March of this year. Turns out that all the research I did preparing for that gig is directly related to my current position, as in the Fly Doc and Dr. Empty Job Promise have worked together in the past. But the Fly Doc is considered a national leader in the field so once again I'm reminded that very little in life happens for no reason at all, we just have to be patient and more importantly, not give up hope that all things will truly work together for the greater good. Not only that, my personal goal of health disparities work fits like a glove due to our patient population and the organ system we're focused in. Double WOW!!!!!
Movin' on, I don't have words for how much I'm LOVIN' living in the city and we've spent the past few days (in between all the rain/flooding) exploring the neighborhood. I should clarify that, we've been exploring all the fine eating establishments within walking distance of our new home. Yum!!! We've also spent a good amount of time enjoying the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen in my life and I'll post some amazing pics I've recently taken soon.
Well, this is another quickie since we're having issues getting our Internet set up and hanging out the the clubhouse (where there's wifi for residents ) with all the partying 20 somethings is a bit of "been there, done that, got the hat, teeshirt, and matching shoes", type of situation, LOL!!!"
Yeah, it's the understatement that I'm basking in God's blessing for my life these days, it's truly MY season!!!!
My apologies for the weeks long delay, between final projects and packing/moving I've been VERY busy!! But I'm sooooo happy to be starting my new gig at a major hospital while livin' in the city!!! YES!!!! I'm also excited to be working side by side with clinicians, and I'm certain this experience will only enhance my need to stay focused on my future Physician/Scientist career!
I have my orientation on Monday and will try to give a report of my first impressions next weekend. I'm also still working on my summer plans but other than working on Verbal MCAT and taking ONE advanced stats class, I don't have anything else planned. Hold on, I do plan to volunteer at a hospital as well, although I would thoroughly enjoy working with special needs kids at a local school too. But the fact is that from this point until May 2016, 99.999% of my actions need to point me in the direction of med school ONLY, so that likely means a hospital position.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
This afore mentioned text is what I was supposed to post last weekend, but I got busy and simply forgot. Suffice it to say that I had a fabulous first week at the hospital and while it wasn't without any glitches at all, I simply refuse to focus on ANY of that and keep things pushing with my med school plans. One thing that is crystal clear besides my Physician goals is that my doctoral focus in Biomedical Informatics is a great move! Just not great enough for me to drop my med school plans and that's a great thing because I need to stay focused on med school by ANY means necessary.
So in the process of finishing my coursework last semester( all A's again), moving to the city, and getting settled in my new gig, I've been researching what I'm going to do to prepare for the MCAT. And I've decided to go with the new EK materials which seem to have good reviews. I've decided to order the complete new set not just pieces and parts just so that I'm covering everything. I'll also have to look into which companies are providing practice exams patterned after the new exam, but I'm darn happy I decided against taking the new exam this summer without first letting the new test "guinea pigs" go through it first. This decision jacked my application timeline by a year, but it's not a regret in the slightest because the better I can do on this new exam, the more options I'll have for my training. And I can't emphasize this enough, almost everyone I knew who applied/matriculated to med school with scores on the low end, had to repeat at least one (and a few times ALL) of their USMLEs/COMLEXs. No, there's not a 1:1 correlation between MCAT scores and performance on these exams, but mastering standardized test taking before med school will almost always pay off later in med school.
Well, I'd better get back to unpacking and organizing, I realize this is a months long endeavor, but I'm trying to create a home like atmosphere ASAP!!!
“I'm
feeling good from my head to my shoes, know where I'm going and I
know what to do, I tidied up my post of view, I got a new
attitude!!””
Those
infamous lyrics from Patti Labelle's song New Attitude, pretty much
captures what I'm thinking and feeling these days!! I'm going back
(FOR GOOD) to a clinical setting, and in the biggest, most exciting
news of all, we're getting da' hell out of the suburbs and moving to
the city!!!!!Yes, yes, YES!!!!
I actually attended this Prince concert, my first, in 1982 when this very tour came to the city I was living in in Florida.
But I digress, I've
been waiting on a move like this for years, but we stayed in the
'burbs because public schools are so much better there. The only sticking point
is renting versus buying, and at issue is the fact that buying is
MUCH cheaper than renting in the city. But I don't want to jump into city life
like that right now because I don't know where I'll end up in medical
school ;) (and being landlords just isn't realistic for our "on the go"
lifestyles). So I've found a few places that we're going to look at
in a few weeks, but I'll be doing this by myself at least initially
because DD is going with DH to Cali on business in a few weeks, right after she finishes her final exams.
Movin' on, I've
also decided on a tentative 2 year plan that is actually more like a
one year plan as far as the classes I'm going to be taking and my
MCAT study schedule. My program advisor is not too thrilled about my
decision to slow things down, but he'll get over it. The difficulty I
had finding a research group won't be forgotten soon and I need to
shore up my “clinical goals” since that's where my heart is, Peds in particular. But to make sure I hit the ground running next month on my new
gig, there are some websites I've had to review to make sure I'm up
to speed clinically speaking when I start in mid May. One of these
websites is the WHO-ICD10 training website which is located here . I'll only be responsible for the general training
information and the information specific for GI, but looking through
the manual reminds me that med school is going to require learning a
TON of information and that the clinical experiences I'm getting now
are sealing the fate on future and more importantly, my purpose!!!
"Know where I'm going my worries are few, 'cause I got love (purpose) like I NEVER knew. I tidied up my point of view, I got a new attitude!!
And then there's data science which is a nice lane in between the two and the area where I plan to "center" myself.
So what's changed after months of saying computational biology is my baby? A large part of the change is that rather than going where I thought I belonged based on my skills, I'm being led by God through the opportunities that have presented themselves. And I don't think it's a coincidence that I have had more "no gos" this past year than I could count where PIs would promise me opportunities, then disappear like a fart in the wind! But in the context of the absolutely fabulous time I've had working with special needs children this Spring semester and the "people/people" that tend to go into these fields, it's no surprise to me now that Biomedical Informatics/Data Science a more "people/people" field, has "won out" over Computational Biology/Data Science. And I couldn't be happier about it!! However, the fallout from this past school year and the challenges associated with finding a PI has left me feeling pretty worn out both mentally and physically. So with that in mind, I think I'm going to take it easy this next school year in terms of trying to make significant progress toward my PhD. I won't stop taking classes and because I love school so much, I don't think I could if I tried. But besides the Psych and Soc classes I need for the MCAT, I don't think I'm going to take more than 2 additional classes toward my PhD next year, one on the fall and one next spring.
What I'm seriously hoping is that I'll never have this internal debate again about where my personal and academic interests are best served now that I thoroughly understand that I'm better off in environments with "people/people", than environments with Scientists who are often far from being "people/people". Thing is, I remember when I had this revelation back in the late 80's where I was reprimanded by my lab manager for reading a genetics book during my lunch break on a gig where I was hired to wash glassware. I still remember her exact words, "we don't pay you to read about what we do, you're paid to clean our glassware". My first thought was "wow, what a royal *itch", and my next immediate thought was as much as I enjoy research, maybe this isn't the environment for me.
Okay, so I've talked about that enough, I think it's safe to say that now that I'm going back to working for/with Clinicians in a hospital affiliated with a major medical school, where I'll be working on clinical research projects, I KNOW I'm going to thrive (though I know it won't be perfect) while being constantly reminded of what my ultimate goal is, a Physician/Scientist career! In the meantime, I'll continue to think about my 2 year plan to matriculating into med school with the idea that right now, it's best for me to take my time and do it right!
So I've decided on a research group and it looks like cancer along with other GI diseases are now my primary research focus. I'll also be working at a major medical center with a medical school affiliation, so that means that it's probably a good idea that I never officially left my previous program (and for those who haven't been able to keep up with all the different educational paths I was considering, on paper, I'm technically still a graduate student in Biomedical Informatics at my current university.) And if I'm really being honest, the reason I never resigned from my current school is because I just didn't "feel" compelled to do that for some strange reason as in I didn't want to burn that bridge until I was certain I didn't need to get back across it. Plus, I've attended more than 10 educational institutions for every city I've ever lived in (plus a few more LOL), so I recognized that when you have doubts about your next move, staying put is usually not a bad idea. I also finally had to face the fact that being teed off at one PI at my school isn't really enough reason to leave the department/school. But this new gig also means that my research focus doesn't involve my old PI's research area, so I don't need him (anymore) to complete my goals. And that's the more important issue, I don't need his salty arse and he can't block my path either!! And THAT was my biggest concern when I was focused in his main area.
Movin' on, I'm thinking about taking online courses in sociology and psychology in preparation for the MCAT starting this summer. Maybe I'll take one in the Summer and one in the Fall. I'm also supposed to be taking a course in my program (and given the overlap with the concentrations I was considering, the specific course hasn't changed), but I'm just not sure yet. This Spring semester was ROUGH for a number of reasons, and I could really use a little bit of time off from the rat race. Plus, I'll want to hit the ground running on my new gig and that's going to include some looonnnggg hours this summer. The there's that surgery I need to get a consult about too but that will only slow me down, the beauty of doing a data oriented graduate program AND new gig, is that I can work on it from anywhere at anytime!!!
"I'm so proud of you for sticking to your goals when the average person would just take the opportunity they have now and run with that".
Yesterday, I was talking with a long time friend of mine and I mentioned that I had been asked by yet another Principle to return the next year as a full-time Teacher at a super salary (especially for a small town)! My friend who knows the gut wrenching details of my career efforts for the past 2 years, told me what I've quoted in the post and honestly, it almost made me cry.
I'm more than aware that many times, people end up not in the careers they envisioned for themselves, but in the one that seemed to come of of nowhere. I also blogged a couple days ago about feeling like my career these days is unexceptional which I should clarify to mean my research/lab experiences these past 2 years. The thing is that many times, I think people just get comfortable with the "position from nowhere" based on the income it provides, or maybe they really like their coworkers, or maybe it fits their lifestyle as a working Mother (Working Moms seem to do this FAR more than Working men), or perhaps all of the above. Sometimes when I think about how blessed I am to have been a Teacher before and also have a natural knack for working with kids/students, it makes me wonder (for a picosecond) if I'm doing the right thing career wise. But that's the shortest picosecond in the history of time, a good part of what attracts me to medicine is the constant intellectual stimulation and requirements to keep learning something new. The idea that I could also work with kids is just icing on the cake! And I wouldn't have to give up teaching either since I've had my eye on an academic career for as long as I can remember (though I'm VERY concerned about age discrimination when that time comes).
For now, I've decided to work with kids every two weeks on Friday afternoons when schools seem to need help the most. And I'm hoping my new research group will be okay with that.;)
Today, I'll find out if another surgical procedure is in my future. In fact, I'm waiting for the surgeon to come in right now as I type this. ;)
One thing that's CRYSTAL CLEAR is that ignoring myself as I have since my family relocated to Texas in 2013, was a pretty dumb arse idea. I've got so many appointments set up its both ridiculous AND a damn shame because I should know better. But enough about that, I'd like to share some of my success on my path to being in my best shape ever!!
First. I've lost 5 of the 10 pounds that made me overweight and here's how I've done that. First, I don't eat anything other than a granola bar after 6PM at night. And I've stopped eating doughnuts in the middle of the night too! (I have NO IDEA how THAT became a habit, lol!!). I also only eat two true "meals" a day, a meal consisting of a meat (usually chicken), a starch (usually boiled red potatoes) and LOTS of veggies. My third/last meal is often just a serving of meat and LOTS of veggies. I also stopped adding salt to my food, the exception being that I now only lightly season the baked chicken I eat with garlic salt and a seasoning salt (I prefer the ones from Whole Foods). Speaking of granola bars, that's my new "go to" snack instead of the chocolate iced cake doughnuts from my favorite bakery. I DO however have one every Friday, 'cause I just gotta have it!! I've never really been a fried foods person so I didn't need to make any drastic changes there. But I did need to add more veges to my spaghetti, replacing some of the low fat hamburger I was getting a tad bit carried away with.
As for exercise, I've started playing tennis 2X/week and I'm running longer on the days I don't play. I continue to park far away in parking lots because I believe that evey little bit helps. And my knees are hurting less and less every day since I've also added some light weight lifting to my fitness regime. In other words, I ain't playing with this get back into great shape kick I'm on because I realize that if I'm serious about attending med school at my age, my body needs to reflect that!!! The fact that I need to get healthy for health reasons is just icing on the "get my butt in gear" cake!! :)
