So with my database class out of the way (OMG, that class was KILLER!!!), I'm now pretty laser focused on the MCAT, MCAT bio to be exact for the rest of the summer. For now, I'm using the Khan academy videos, cliff notes in bio subjects, and my tried and true EK materials. I still don't have a "formal" plan for studying for my retake because I decided that I could not do a lot of time consuming things at the same time. But I am making sure to do something MCAT related 3X/week during my super busy weeks, and 5X/week during times like those I'll have between now and the Fall semester.
Needless to say I was HIGHLY disappointed at my performance on the first passage and I completed it with a 3/7, but quickly averaged 5/7 on the remaining passages I completed. My goal however is ~87% or higher which amounts to missing at most, 1 question on any given passage. And with my years long experience is preparing/taking this exam along with tutoring other students, I think this is a realistic goal.
Movin' on, with everything going on in Texas and around the country last week, I opted out of going in to work last Friday. Knowing both DART and Dallas police officers made what happened just a tad bit more personal than it probably would have been otherwise. My kid was also supposed to be in Dallas for a field trip during her internship this weekend and I was so happy when they decided not to come. I'll also be so happy when she comes homes, because her cat is really working my last nerve:
This is the cat that acts more like a kitten with each passing day, lounging on MY favorite TV spot. Then when you nudge her into moving so you can sit down on YOUR chair, she hisses at you, gives you the evil cat eye, then sashays to another area of the family room, LOL!!
So in the absence of a real post, I thought I'd post 10 of the random 10 million things that are running through my mind at any given moment of a day. Here they are in no particular order:
1) I wonder if finishing med school will "cure" my mind of always having 10 million random things running through it, or will it just create 10 million more?
2) My kid has been away at her internship for almost a week and I miss her terribly.
.........after a brief moment of tears before I continue....
3) It was the DUMBEST idea EVER to take an advanced database class in only 6 weeks! URGH!!!
4) The weekly HIV clinical conference I attend is getting SUPER interesting!
5) I was finally approved to attend the Ryan White HIV/AIDS conference in DC and I can't wait to get back home! Turns out that as a non clinician (Imma' fix THIS!!), I get last "dibs" on everything, thus I'll have to stay at a hotel different from the one the conference is being held in.
6) Looks like that gyn surgery I've been putting off for a while will have to be scheduled sometime in the near future. Major BUMMER!!!!
7) The 2 HIV related research projects I'm working on are coming along quite nicely!! :)
8) I've been approved to volunteer at the local indigent hospital in a position to be determined starting in August. I'm leaning toward the baby cuddler program, but I'm leaving that open until I have to make a decision.
9) Formal MCAT review has been nonexistent except I'm learning a LOT in my med term class.
10) It's hot as fish grease in Texas right about now, but I still LOVE living here! :)
So with my academic summer plans set, I prepare for what is supposed to be the hottest summer on record here in Texas. And to all who don't believe global warming is real, I say spend a summer in Texas, you'll quickly think otherwise, LOL!!
Update: Some of my readers may be wondering how things worked out with the student from hellI had last semester. In the interest of professionalism and privacy, all I'll say is that she flunked the ACS (American Chemistry Society) created final exam. And with that, nothing more needs to be said.
Movin' on, one of the classes I'm taking this summer for my HIT certification is medical terminology and this class is definitely NOT the same as the one I took in the early 90's. Based on what I've seen in the book so far, it's more like anatomy/physiology "lite". And that's good since I'll be taking A&P I/II next Fall and Spring (in retrospect, I'm glad to not be taking these classes this summer as I originally wanted before the classes were cancelled). I'm also taking advanced courses Health Data Science as needed/required for my research and for my PhD. Most exciting for me, is that I finally get to learn EPIC in detail, one of the most popular electronic health records systems used in US medical facilities.
So this Wednesday, I have a meeting with the Dean of the STEM department. And while I'd LOVE to say it was about the exceeding performance standards eval I got a couple weeks ago, it's unfortunately due to a student complaining that "I don't like them or treat them fairly" with 2 weeks left in the semester. And not just any student, a female student. And not just anyfemale student, but a BLACK female student. Uh huh.
Apparently, some of the students in this generation are HIGHLY entitled and think they deserve good grades with inconsistent effort, as opposed to having to earn them like all the other top students in my class do. And when you won't give them what they asked for, they go to your Supervisor, a situation I had heard other faculty at my school complain about earlier in the semester. And if after that meeting they're still not satisfied, they go to the Dean hence my meeting this coming Wednesday.
Now besides the enormous amount of disappointment I feel about this situation given my demonstrated goal of increasing minority representation in STEM especially women, I also recognized that there are some people that have other agendas. All I can do is show my Dean this student's progress in my class along with the email she sent me complaining about "not getting the grade she deserves". The fact that I had to ask her and 2 other students to leave my class for ignoring my repeated (since early March) requests to stop talking during lecture, is just the icing on the proverbial cake as far as her character is concerned. Added to that is the fact that 2 of the 3 students I asked to leave my class that day have apologized for their behavior, but not this student. And that says FAR more about her as a person and her intentions, than anything else IMHO.
What I do know is that with an MCAT coming up this summer, 3 abstracts due in the next 2 weeks, summer classes toward my HIT (Health Information Technology) certificate, and a PhD course, I realize that my decision to not teach this summer was a damn good one. But this "hiatus" from teaching will likely extend FAR into the future as I simply don't have time for bull*hit like this. Not. At. ALL! I'm also reminded that of the 20 or so Black female PhD's I know, only 2 of them teach at the collegiate too. Put another way, the weight of double standards that Black faculty often feel is one thing when it's something you can control to a certain degree, like your research. But teaching is a subjective in nature, and a LOT of what others think about what you do is completely OUT of your hands. At age 39, I may have had the motivation to "gut it out" anyway. But at 49, ANYTHING that isn't positive and moving me in the direction of medical school, can go straight to he**!
With that said, I'll have to figure out another way to reach underrepresented students interested in STEM. I'm tossing around a couple ideas now, but won't follow through officially until after I take the MCAT later this summer.
So with temps in the 80's here in Texas, it's feeling a LOT like summer already here in Texas! And with the knowledge that I'm taking classes for my HIT certification and PhD degree along with the MCAT later this summer, I've decided that I'm NOT superwoman. And that means that I won't be teaching this summer as I had originally planned because I ain't superwoman!
Moving on, I'm working on my first, first author abstract in years for an April 29th submission deadline. At this point, I'm not sure if I will make it in time, but I'm certainly giving it my best!
Other than that, everything is everything is a the young people say and life is still pretty d*mn good!
I think the title (and image) pretty much sums up how I'm feeling these days, I have MANY moments when I feel like there aren't enough hours in a day for me to get all the things I need to get done! But there isn't much I'd change about it because I'm learning so much and growing in so many ways!!
One of the things I'm most proud of is how much I've improved as a professor over the last few months, and I can admit that it did take a LOT for me to get adjusted to the "Demographics" of students I teach. I say it to my supervisor all the time, this particular experience has been more a lesson in adjusting my teaching in ways that would prove most helpful to my students who are not only minority, but come from the lowest of economic backgrounds. I understand much better how an attitude of mediocrity gets passed on from generation to the next and is often mistaken from people from higher SES (socio economic status) as laziness or being unmotivated to learn. But it's almost impossible to maintain motivation to study when you're taking care of family, working, AND going to school. Being a minority myself, I can empathize with what they deal with in life, but trust me I have NO problem being tough when I need to be. So it makes my day when my students tell me they look up to me and I even have one who told me she wants to be a Chemistry professor just like me! :)
Moving on, I mentioned that I frequently walk in my downtown neighborhood and even though I'm from the south, I'd never in my life seen the following on trees growing up:
If my daughter hadn't spotted this, I'd never EVER notice it myself, so I guess nature/evolution has a way of making sure delicate/vulnerable species survive (there's an MCAT topic here, ROTFL!!) The tree I saw must have had 500 caterpillars all clustered together in "packs" of 3 or more per tree! And on this note, I'm going to end this post because this picture makes my skin crawl REAL bad, LOL!!!!!
This is what I was thinking as I was sitting at a regional meeting of AIDS researchers and Physicians this past week. And my other thought was that of the 5 Black people there, not ONE had much to say about what I was hearing that literally left my mouth hanging open. Things like the fact that according to CDC data recently published, Black men that sleep with men have a 1:2 lifetime risk of contracting HIV. That's 50:50!!! WTH?!?!??!
I'll keep this short, it's IMPOSSIBLE to affect adequate change in the health status of a community when you don't thoroughly understand its "culture", even when your intentions are in the right place. Put another way, I'll fit right in as an Internist that happens to have an AIDS/HIV research background too. Interestingly, I haven't been "active" in the HIV/AIDS community for over 20 years and it's an understatement to say that things have really changed! From the drugs used in treatment (there were very few back in the day) to who's more likely to be infected with HIV (when I was an AIDS counselor in the 90's, gay, White, men topped that unfortunate list), the field has changed in a TON of ways that leave me giddy with excitement with all the new things I'm going to learn! Yes, my role will be primarily an analytical one, but I'll also have opportunities to go into the field and work with the Physicians that lead the team I'm working on. And that is SUPER cool!!
Movin' on, my MCAT study is going well so there's not much to update there. I'm going to register for the exam as soon as I find out what my summer PhD class schedule is going to be and that should be by the end of March/early April. I'm still thinking about a late June/mid July exam at the latest, since I don't want to be bogged down with final exams for my Chemistry students as well as my own final exams. Again, having to set a specific schedule works so much better for me than having too much "freedom" of choice.
This is the story of my pre-med life to many people, LOL!! However I've learned to accept that, not because I think this image is in any way accurate to ME, but because the way God planned my life has nothing to do with how others think He should have planned it. The fact is that save for one too many disappointing research endeavors, it's been a pretty interesting ride. And the most important fact of my journey is that I succeeded remarkable in raising my kid to become the fabulous and successful person she is today, receiving MUCH more family support for her life and goals than I received. More than that, I'm resolved myself to the fact that my med school journey will not include my parents (for reasons I've mentioned before but won't elaborate on again, my father is deceased so that's one part of it) and it's just taken me until very recently to accept that and MOVE ON anyway!
Speaking of which, my MCAT review is going at a pretty steady clip and I mix it up to keep myself motivated. One of the sites I'm using is the Khan Academy website which now has all of the new sections of the MCAT included among their materials:
Of course, being a college chemistry professor keeps me on my MCAT toes and I remain very grateful for the opportunity to not only teach/mentor other minority students, but relearn some things myself.
The other really cool thing going on is that I've settled on a new research group for my dissertation and it looks right now like I'm back in the infectious disease (ID) arena. I finally came to the realization that besides not taking the advice I give students to pick your research group based on support first and interest second, I was causing an unnecessary delay in getting things going (my target date to finish my PhD is December 2018). Sure, I'd much rather work on a project related to cancer, but I accept the fact that right now, I don't have any support in that area unless I want to leave Texas. And that's the other part of this, my unwillingness to move placed me in a situation of not having many options but I accepted that because I LOVE the people and living in Texas, and hope to practice medicine in this state as well.
While enjoying my last bit of free time (I start with my new research group next week), I spend a LOT of time walking in my downtown neighborhood. Out home is about a block from dog park and I snapped this pick on the way back from picking up a package from the post office:
Again, it's so mega cool living blocks from the arts district!!!
So I had my first day of class this week and not only was it a LOT of fun, it was just the coolest thing I've done in a LONG time! The pic above is what I took just before I entered my classroom, so needless to say, I probably wasn't what my students were expecting, LOL!!
My new Supv is an equally fly middle aged woman with an agenda very similar to mine, get more minority students into STEM careers. And my department dean is a high heeled boot and mini skirt wearing former Biologist turned administrator. So it's an understatement for me to say that for the first time in a VERY long time, I fit right in with my new colleagues!
I've said many time before that Texas has some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life and the people on this new gig are NO exception! But the thing I like most is that we're all pretty different culturally, representing every race, religion, and creed on the planet. And yeah, I think diversity makes the workplace a MUCH better place!!
Movin' on, I'm neck deep in Bio and Biochem review for the MCAT and I'm also considering teaching an MCAT course at my new school. And even though I'm enjoying this educational experience, it doesn't decrease in the slightest or take away my desire to also finish med school. But it does make my goal of staying connected to 2 year colleges for the remainder of my career pretty much a done deal.
So due to my reasonably flexible schedule (outside of med school/residency I can't EVER see myself in a "traditional" work environment again), I get to explore the downtown of my city again and have decided to post some pics of all the new and interesting things I see in a given day. I'm no photographer, but here are a few:
Substance abuse is a HUGE problem in Texas, I saw this empty bottle of Jack at the metro station earlier today.
I live very near the ARTS district, so unusual sightings like this one are quite common, LOL!!!
These are my absolute favorite pair of sneaks, I don't wear shoes like this often except when exercising. But my knees have been bothering me lately so I decided that comfortable/healthy was better than cute in this case.
Finally, in an effort to make Chemistry interesting, I decided to at the beginning of each of my classes to play a song/video related to the topic we're going to discuss in class as the students are entering the classroom. One of those songs was this one by Rihanna, since we were talking about carbon:
I'm not usually the kind of person that has negative feelings about one year ending and a new one beginning, but that's exactly how I felt at the end of 2015!! Last year was one hellva' year for me on every front possible, mentally, personally, emotionally, physically, academically, and most especially, professionally!! So I was VERY thankful to end the year on such a high mental and emotional note with my teaching gigs lined up, my academic goals moving forward, and my health in a MUCH better "glad I no longer need to have an immediate surgery" place!! WHEW!!! :) Best yet, we're leaving for our multi-state vacay later this week which had to be postponed because I had the dumb arse idea to take 2 courses over the winter break.
Movin' on, the chemistry class I'm teaching this semester will be my largest EVER, in a room that looks a LOT like this:
This is also my first time in a LONG time, teaching chemistry for chemistry and engineering majors which could potentially be challenging since premeds, ect, tend to sometimes be "know it all" kinda students. Still, I'm really looking forward to it since I've been given free latitude to teach however I want as along as I'm getting the message across to students. Along those same lines, I'm going to also start posting again on my Chemistry with Kimberly website on a regular basis too! So anything related to my teaching experiences will be discussed there.
Interestingly enough, I've also started a blog in health data science though I'm not quite ready to go public with that one yet! Turns out there aren't ANY blogs by women in health data science that I've been able to find, so it will be interesting to see how much "traffic" I generate! Speaking of health data, I'm going to a meet-up later today to see a demonstration of IBM-Watson Analytics. My interest in this platform started with IBM Watson Oncology which I learned about while working at The MD Anderson Cancer Center. I'll let you click on the links to see for yourself what it's all about, needless to say in interface between computers and healthcare is here to stay and I'm so excited about the future holds for someone like me, with a strong interest in both!!
Speaking of medicine, I've already started back with my simultaneous review of both general chemistry and biochem for the MCAT, and will start with practice tests in those subjects when I finish my current course next week. Yep one thing ends, another begins, that's how I'm happily rolling these days! :)
Everyday, I get biblical scriptures by email which allow me to start my days off in the best way possible. And lately, these scriptures have been ALL about being patient and equally important to being a middle age premed, being resilient. Now the resiliency part of that is typically no problem for me though I've had my fare share of thoughts that I'll get my PhD and be done with school, permanently. But being patient is something I've struggled with all my adult life and in doing so, have made a few decisions that I wouldn't mind a "do over" for. That said, I recognize that for most of us, the "challenges" we have in life are part of our life's stories and that what happens, both good and not so good, are ultimately things which shape our character, define who we are, and define who we are yet to be.
So my semester ends up great, I did very well overall in the courses I'm taking for the certification exam as a Certified Health Data Analyst, and I'll be VERY busy over the winter break finishing 2 courses I'm taking as "refreshers" for my spring/summer PhD classes. Unfortunately, I did have a small "brouhaha" with one of my profs when I became so ill that I had to make a trip to the local ER. But that wasn't a good enough excuse for this new Prof not threaten to flunk me in the class for missing so many days (despite an almost perfect "A" average at the time). So it would be an understatement to say that I didn't take it too well, a position "aggravated" by my own position as an Adjunct Chemistry Prof at this same institution. Blessedly, I'm on the mend and have been for a while now and I'm so thankful to God for it! But I realize that whatever I did before in terms of taking care of myself, needs to be stepped up significantly. I talked before about how my eating/exercise habits have improved, in addition to carefully monitoring my asthma in a relatively new environment. But I must also stay on top of my flu season "preparation" (ie get the darn flu shot before flu season!!) like I never have before especially since I almost died of pneumonia in the late 90's. Aren't health professionals the MOST hard headed sometimes, LOL???
Movin' on, I've become quite active in my local "Data Science" community regularly meeting with others in this new and emerging field. So at a recent meeting, I connected with the 3 other women there which was not only dominated by foreigners, but men too. The fact that the 4 of us are all racially/culturally different was really kinda cool too!! More than ever I realize that bonding with women with similar goals will not only be key to my success it will certainly be key to my "survival" in this field as well.
On the med school front, I was able to get a pretty thorough review of general chemistry through tutoring a local predoctoral student last semester but I know in the area of chemistry, I have MUCH more work to do as far as MCAT practice testing is concerned. So next spring, I plan to cover that in addition to biochemistry and biology review. I'm still on target for a Summer MCAT exam and I'll be assured in my prep time due to being purposely part-time in my PhD program in the Spring. And it also helps me tremendously that my studies in Health Data Science reinforces my "med school in my 50's goal", todos las dias or everyday!!
**For a reminder if what my PhD program in Informatics/Health Data Science has to do with the practice of medicine, click on the link.**
Obviously I won't know how it feels to be a med student until I become one. But until then, I'll be THOROUGHLY acclimated to being SUPER busy ALL THE TIME!!!
With just 2 weeks left this semester, I'm FINALLY feeling what I call "academically normal". My grades are still high though I did have little slump when I got sick a couple weeks ago for the second time (still working on managing my allergies/asthma in a new climate), but overall I'm VERY pleased with my academic performance this semester.
MCAT wise I'm behind but without a set testing date on my schedule, I'm not overly worried that I haven't done much in the way of formal studying. With the way my schedule is working out, I won't be able to do a lot of focused studying until May at the earliest. So maybe a late June/early July 2016 date will work? We'll see!!
Movin' on, I'm spending a lot of time reading papers for what I hope will be my dissertation project and I'm meeting with PIs as well. However, given my VERY specific interest in health disparities and natural language processing (NLP) in clinical decision support, I'm realizing that I may be "winging" this dissertation work solo. And by that I mean that rather than taking on a project already in progress, I'll be creating and defending my own. And given the paucity of research in health disparities using NLP, this will be a TON of work. But hey, this is what I've wanted to do for a while so it's ALL good!! :)
Lastly, I've realized the hard way that I'm at the age now where it's do or die as far as me getting in tip top health is concerned. So after realizing that I've gained 15 pounds since I relocated to Texas ( putting the "B" in baby got back), I'm back down to what I was when I moved here, 5'8" and 140 pounds. I haven't started running again just yet, but I am exercising on a regular basis about 3X/week. But this weight "stabilization" hasn't come without major sacrifice, I eat at most 2.5 complete meals a day. And that works out to me eating 5 smaller meals everyday so I'm not hungry. To say it's been a little rough is an understatement especially since I've never in my life had to monitor what I eat. But between the escalating blood pressure and getting a booty made for a rap video, I decided that it's more important to be healthy especially as an old premed and to pass on the ability to REALLY "make it clap", lol!!
So it finally seems that I'm getting pretty well settled in here in Texas. And by that I mean, I've finally decided on my next career goals. I think............, LOL!! With this semester almost over (HELL YEAH!!), I eagerly anticipate formally continuing along the path toward my PhD at my new institution in the Spring.
And yes, I did decide to go for the PhD because I think I can get "more bang for my buck". The fact that almost all of the cohort I would have been classmates with in the Doctorate program were already Clinicians, pretty much "sealed the deal on my decision". And in the biggest irony of all, the methods I aced but received no encouragement/support for in the Asian group I rotated with last summer, are the same ones my new adviser (who is also Asian but Indian, like the folks who have made up most of my tutoring clients) is encouraging me to continue to develop and pursue for my dissertation. That means, that I'll see them next Spring at a meeting for an organization we're all a members of! Boo-Yah!!!
Movin' on, my MCAT studying is coming along though I've dropped off a little recently to prepare two presentations I have to do by the end of the month. And after reading a post on oldpremeds, I've decided NOT to mention a date/year for when I'll apply to med school until after I take the MCAT because there's simply NO point. Yes, I'm still shooting to take the MCAT next year, but the exact date is a moving target (late next summer?). And you know what I'm okay with that for now, because med school isn't going ANYWHERE and though I was concerned about being 50+ when I apply, I've simply decided NOT to worry about that anymore either. Why? Because there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I realize most many MD schools will rule me out because of my age, but I'm certainly not going to let that stop me from applying anyway. At this point, MD, DO, Caribbean MD, it doesn't matter to me as long as I get it done!
Being the quasi writer I am, I can't put into words the feelings I get working on a regular basis with disadvantaged kids. And what I also know is that it's almost impossible envisioning yourself doing something if you never see anyone that looks like you doing it. So while I grew up reading about Dr. Percy Julian a famous Black Chemist, I NEVER in a million years thought I could do the same because I'd never SEEN a Black Chemist. Even with two college educated parents. But not long after I met a Black Chemist working at a majority institution, I became a Chemistry major and the connection there isn't coincidental. Of course, if I had attended an HBCU I'd have seen examples of Black folks majoring in science a LOT sooner, but that's a topic for another day.
Movin' on, after WEEKS of struggling to get organized, I'm finally there and I'm seeing the benefits, a straight "A" average in all my classes. That isn't to say that all my grades have been "A's" thus far, just that that's where I am now and will remain for the reminder of the semester. I'm also maintaining pretty good progress with my MCAT studying, though there's room for improvement as far as how much I review is concerned.
This weekend, I'm attending a premed fair at one of the top medical schools in the country and while I think my age is a substantial "barrier" to my admission to this school, I'm going because I certainly won't get admitted if I don't network and apply anyway. I'm just looking forward to the looks of bewilderment I'm certain to get from people who I'm sure will be wondering what I'm doing there at my age, especially since I've decided to leave my edges slightly silver. Speaking of age, I found this HIGHLY inspiring article in DO magazine about med school matriculants in their 50s:
If I'm being realistic (and honest with myself), I pretty certain that my best options for med school matriculation are at a DO school and that's perfectly fine by me. The first med school to ever recruit me as a premed was a DO school, my pediatrician growing up was a DO, so I've long since been comfortable with the idea of having the letters DO behind my name rather than MD. More importantly, I'm very comfortable with myself and my abilities so I'm not concerned about having to "defend" this choice should it come down to that. My work will continue to speak for me, I'm sure!!
Lastly, I met with the other profs yesterday at the college I'll be teaching Chemistry at next Spring, and I have to say that I'm really looking forward to it! :) I've also volunteered to help students with their research projects so that adds an extra sense of purpose to me teaching chemistry at this school primarily attended by URM students!!!
So the title of this post is a spot on definition of what my life is these days, and I honestly wouldn't have it ANY other way!!
After a few rough weeks of adjusting, I'm finally in a great place school and career wise though I have to resist the temptation to continuously question why in da' hell it took me so long to get to this VERY comfortable and focused place.
MCAT wise, I'm doing concurrent review in Biology and Chemistry and as I've previously mentioned, regularly tutoring a student in chemistry is that extra push I needed to get the lead out so to speak. The book I'm using is below and it's an updated version of the book I used in undergrad 30 years ago.
I realized recently that what Profs are teaching these days is a LOT more extensive than the stuff I learned, so I decided to upgrade my "equipment".
Speaking of Profs, I interviewed for a part-time position as an Adjunct Chem prof at a local college starting in the Spring and I'm looking forward to doing that again too, but in a MUCH more socially and financially diverse school than the one I worked at a few years back. And in the spirit of yet another revelation (not that I needed this one), I've come to the conclusion again that educational environments work best for me!!! And for the future, that means that I'll likely end up working at an academic institution as a Research Physician if I don't go the Locums route which still looks VERY appealing too.
As it relates to building my career in health data/health informatics/health information technology, I've decided that based in large part on my past job experiences, that I will ONLY work for someone with the "Dr" title moving forward. Now I realize that this sounds educationally elitist but the reality is that working for someone I outeducate has led to the worst jobs experiences I've EVER had. In today's work environment, people seem to worry about you either taking their jobs or having to work for you one day (although most times, it feels to me like most people still have a high school mentality). At any rate, I've simply decided to avoid what I know does NOT work for me. Plus, you add the fact that I'll also be working on my Doctorate (classes, which would have to be signed off by my Supv), and now I could have a recipe for an insecure Boss explosion!!! Thanks, but I'll pass on that!!
So that might bring up the question of how will I adjust to being a med student who frequently works with/around people with less education. Well, I 1000% respect folks who have something to teach me plus, those folks know going in what my ultimate goal is so as a student, I'm NO threat to their current job security. And since medical school is a place for me to learn, I have absolutely NO qualms about the fact that they'll be PLENTY of people for me to learn from no matter how much education they have. However, the biggest differences between med school and answering to someone I outeducate on a job is that: 1) The people I'll be around in med school will be there to teach me something I'm dying to learn and I gladly accept this. Most importantly, I'm NO THREAT to their current position as a lowly med student. So I expect an entirely different situation than the one I've experienced as a hospital employee. Finally, being the daughter of an Advanced Nurse from a family full of Nurses, I know better than to disrespect Nurses who make up the majority of healthcare professionals in hospital settings.
The last topic I want to blog about today is that I decided to go ahead and pursue my Doctorate concentrating in Health Administration and Health Data Science because I realized that there's NO real reason I can't keep ALL my education and career goals in play at the same time as long as I'm willing to work hard. I realized that all I really needed to do was change the company I keep to positive folks, share details of my career goals with folks on a "need to know basis", and bust my tail to get both the organizational skills and motivation to multitask on multiple levels ALL THE TIME. But the single most important thing I needed to do was to have the faith that God gave me multiple talents for a reason and that if I maintained a "faith of titanium", there was absolutely NO REASON I couldn't do what I've talked about FOR YEARS!!! So right now, I'm preparing for the MCAT, teaching/tutoring Science courses, working on my HIT/Health Data Analyst certification which doubles as Doctorate course prep too.
*multitaking without compromising style
I'm also volunteering with Komen and participating in organizations related to my future as a Physician (through SNMA) and Health Data Scientist (through Women Who Code and Blacks in IT). And when it's cool in hot a$$ Texas, I manage a couple tennis matches too!! Yeah, it's an understatement to say that I work day and night!!
With all the grammatical errors I make while blogging, it came as quite a shock when I submitted an assignment for one of my HIT classes and was accused of copying someone else's work. But then writing scientifically in proper grammar/English hasn't been a challenge for me since undergrad. None to worry, after I explained my background to my Prof he apologized for his error in thinking though he didn't change my grade on that particular assignment( he gave me a "C"). And being the late blooming gunner that I am, since my overall grade in the class is an "A", I decided to let this one pass.
Moving on, I made a LOT of progress in my MCAT Biology review this week. But I also dropped the two students I had been tutoring because I realized that I just don't have the time if I'm going to make getting accepted to med school and mastering Heath Data before medical school (and getting paid a LOT of money in the meantime) a priority. Along those same lines, I'm also interviewing for another Health Data Science gig after a local recruiter got my attention with a potential offer that I just couldn't pass on!! And speaking of gigs, I had an amazing week working with my kids and feel like I have a couple future Scientists among my students too!!
"If
you looked in my life And see what I've seen..."
Whenever I'm surfing the net reading various blogs,
I always wonder about the things people don't blog
about. Because it seems to me that people only really
blog about good things and that's disingenuous in a
way because we ALL Have "challenges" in our
lives, though most people who blog don't seem to be as open as I am
about mine, LOL!!! That's also part of the reason why I'm rarely
on Facebook for any length of time because it
seems to be more about "Hey, I got a Bentley" or
"Hey, my husband brought me 'Louie'", more than things that
really mean something like "Hey I just finished Chemo" or
"My kid just graduated tech school". But I guess to each
their own when it comes to these things....................
So in my surfing for new and inspirational blogs to
read, I came across this one from a reader I had no idea had started
med school( Unless I have her confused with someone else
with the same name, LOL). Her blog about being a medical student at
Ross University is here:
Besides being the impetus for me purchasing a detailed planner with times ie 8, 8:30, 9 ect.,
*photo bomb courtesy of another teacup from my collection
Whitney is also absolutely GORGEOUS, not that that has anything to do with anything! But
back when I was in school (30 years ago), women that looked like her
and this young
lady didn't go to med school, at least not from what I can
recall. And that's no dis to the women who did go except that more than a few of the
middle age versions of these women aren't that much fun to work with.
But I digress, this reminds me of once being asked where
people should look for women to recruit to enter STEM fields and I
responded with the cheer leading and Pom Pom squads,
which was met with a dropped jaw and bulging eye balls, LOL!!! But
that's actually how I feel, though I understand that there are
societal stereotypes to how STEM women should look.
But fortunately with this new generation, that seems
to be changing!!! You can actually be cute, wear nice clothes and perfume, be
feminine, get your nails done, and it's all good (though more of the "fuddy duddys" need to retire or free their minds) !!!
Moving on, things are really going great in my HIT classes and I'm
also very excited about the “gaps” in my knowledge base that are
being filled. Unfortunately, studying Health Informatics without
being a Clinician of some sort always left me feeling like I was
missing something and while I did extremely well in the program (had
a 4.0GPA), it was clear that I need something more. Luckily for me, I
feel like like I've found that missing something by officially
switching from a program in Health Informatics to one in Health
Information Technology. That also means that I decided to leave my
old school too and in too many ways to count, it was good bye, good
riddance!! With all the issues I had in that program, I should have
left a LONG time ago but more importantly, when my mentor left the
program and my adviser didn't speak well of the “Asian” dominance
occurring in the program, that should have been my second MAJOR clue
to MOVE ON!!. But that tenacious/stubborn thing I have going on
leaves me hanging onto things that God clearly warns me to walk away
from, I just blessed that now I'm in a MUCH better mental place to do
what needs to be done and have the unshakable faith that God will
“clear my path” for me if I'm willing to pay attention and
listen.
As far as my MCAT review, I didn't get much done last week because
I had a TON of things to do for my HIT classes but with today being a
holiday, I have time to get back on track. I've also decided to slow
things down some with the Chemistry with Kimberly website since my
schedule is already pretty jammed packed and as I've mentioned
before, recording those videos takes up a LOT of time.
Finally, I did find time to visit a few thrift stores where I've
found a couple items to add to my teacup and saucer collection.
Here's my latest find:
I have NO WORDS for how much I enjoy having a cup of
coffee or tea in one of the pretty cups, absolutely makes my
mornings!!! Now I'll leave you with some of the best lyrics in R&B music, Mary's music has been the "songs" of my life for decades!
"Life
can be only what you make it When you're feelin' down You should
never fake it Say what's on your mind And you'll find in
time That all the negative energy It would all cease.....
And
you'll be at peace with yourself You won't really need no one
else Except for the man up above Because He'll give you love"
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I had a moment on the commuter train coming back from one of my HIT (Health Information Technology) classes, where I realized that there's no way in the world I could have continued my studies in health data science while working on my last data research gig!!! ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!!!!
Then I smiled a BIG smile when I realized that for a while now, nothing good, "bad", or indifferent that has happened to me since relocating to (hot a$$) Texas has been an "accident" or mistake. In fact, I wouldn't change a thing about all the valuable lessons I've learned both academic and personal because I became more certain with each passing day that it will all come together to make me a phenomenal Physician one day! Yep!!
So after very carefully planning out my life for this Fall semester, I realized that I need to be very smart and deliberate about the schedule I set for myself. So with that in mind, I've only taken on 2 students to tutor, a Pharmacy student and an undergraduate Premed student and that's it!!! I'm also going to work in a local school system, though I still haven't decided in what capacity. It will be science oriented but in what way, I haven't made up my mind and I have until Wednesday to do so. I also feel like I'm finally in a good groove with the Chemistry with Kimberly website, which also doubles as some MCAT review for me too. Along those same MCAT lines, I'm taking weekly exams in the biological sciences after reviewing the new EK material too.
* Expanded work station, with the MCAT always on my mind
And so far so good, it's kinda weird to look at my progress on the MCAT which is pretty substantial given where I started over 20 years ago when I totally BOMBED the exam, following a night of partying :( And I often think of the kind of Doc I would have become had things worked out the very first time I applied to medical school and while I think I would have been a competent Physician, I think these years since that time of learning, researching, and learning some more, will make me a far better Doctor than I would have become otherwise. Throw in some terminally ill patient caregiveing, raising a kid with little family support to an Engineering scholarship, and earning 3 additional college degrees in the sciences, and I'm feeling like I'm at the top of my personal and academic game 20 years later! All I need now is ONE acceptance, and I'll take it from anywhere I can get it, to put all this hard work, patience, and time tested faith to work!!! Until then, I'm GRATEFUL for ALL the trials, tribulations and challenges that I worked through to get to this point!
One of the things I realized when I think about my work history over the past 3-5 years is that there are some environments I'm just not cut out for. For one, work places where the primary goal is to make money by ANY means necessary cough, big pharma, cough. And unfortunately, that also includes almost every company in America, LOL!! I laugh, but I really don't think it's that funny. The other is a group of nerds, being a "cool nerd with a personality", just hasn't gone over as well as I would have liked around other nerds who think Birkenstocks are dress shoes.
I also realize that the people I talk to the most outside of my family are increasingly female, Asian, and at least 15 years younger than I am. I also started to recognize that the older I got, the worse I "got along" with other middle age people, especially women. And my daughter says it's because despite my age, I'm always "on fleek", which after she told me what that meant on point, put together well, didn't make very much sense to me. Except that when I mentioned this to my Dr. "Sister" who's really my best friend, she said she was starting to have the same issues as me, the issue of (mostly) women getting their "mean girls" on because they're not aging in a way that's pleasing to them. So I finally concluded that in conjunction with the fact that working for other people indefinitely is becoming more and more UNacceptable everyday, I realized that most people haven't changed much since high school. As for aging, Black don't crack, so there's that and other folks need to get OVER it!!! Now, I contrast that with the "put my foot in your hind parts" position I take when it comes to standing up for women especially when they find themselves under the "leadership" of little men in tiny, Kmart suits, LOL (yeah I went there again), so it's quite the paradox! However, most of my clients are women at least 15 years younger than me and often years more than that, and I find working them pure joy! Their energy and most importantly their OPENNESS ABOUT THE DIVERSITY OF AMERICA is what I find most appealing about working them. Ditto on EVERY job I've had for the past 3-5 years, I really like these young people!!!
Moving on, the work on my website is moving right along and I'm pretty happy with the results. I'm sure it will be a continuous work in progress and the fact that I'm having fun and learning too is an extra bonus!! So please check it out when you can and let me know what you think too!
Academically, I have yet to register for classes (I will by this Friday) and I also need to decide on a gig. My choices are either being a part-time STEM Coordinator for an educational organization or working directly with students. I also joined a local professional organization of Blacks (since I live it the cit-tae, LOL) and will attend my first SNMA meeting next month. Add to that my prep for this year's Komen race, and I've got a lot on my plate which is just me being me! As usual!!
This will either be my last or next to last post as Doc201X. No, I'm NOT changing my mind about applying to medical school, but I AM finally changing into a serious premed, not the jibber jabber premed I've been in the past.
Why the change? I'd say it's a combination of things, the most important of which is the fact that I'm now VERY comfortable with the idea of pursuing my goals with a family in tow. And what that really translates to is that I'm comfortable that my kid, having excelled in her freshman year as an Engineering major at a major university, is in a very good and happy place!
Now you may be wondering why all the concern about my kid's academic and emotional well being? Honestly, I think my need to go over board in making sure she had the start in life she needed (which led me to delay my goals), comes from the fact that I didn't get much of what I needed growing up, especially from my mother. Plus, I knew based on what I went through studying STEM, how challenging it would be for my daughter. Now, seeing her thrive due to the 1000% support she's received from her parents, it's by far my most proudest moment as a parent!
Movin' on, I've starting a new website which will be tied to both my business and personal/academic goals, that will also include my new blog location as well as my chemistry videos. More to come on that later..........
As far as my med school goals are concerned, I recently joined a local SNMA chapter which stands for the Student National Medical Association. It's an organization of Black premeds and medical students created when the AMA ddin't allow Black members. I'm also working hard on both orgo and biochem review though I've spent FAR more time recently in Orgo than Biochem.
I've also purchased some really cool computer equipment (and books) to add some excitement to my health information technology/data science courses (that require programming). So, here's my new keyboard (that's really a gaming keyboard, LOL!!)
And a new gaming keyboard would be incomplete without a cool new and larger gaming mouse pad:
So I decided to keep along the data science/health information path (on the certificate level only) simply because I've come TOO FAR to place it on the back burner due to a not so great "data gig" experience. But my focusisstillon preparing to apply to med school next summer, hence the orgo book in the pic next to the cool new keyboard.
