Sunday, February 23, 2014

Deja Vu?

So less than 24 hours before I show my new Supv and my new group manager "what I'm working with", I'm wondering if this is going to be another case of the same ol' thing I've dealt with pretty consistently in my research career. And that is having my ideas "stolen" and claimed by someone else. I often think the reason that so many URM's with PhD's veer FAR away from research careers is because of what's regularly happened to me, they're rarely given credit for their work. Or they can't find real mentors which comes in a close second to why a research career has been so personally unfullfilling for me. But for some reason, I persevere with the hope that one day I'll find myself in a position like I had at the NCI/NIH and as a graduate student at UNC-Chapel Hill, with mentors irrespective of race, willing to support me in my research endeavors. But I dare not hold my breath so to speak, thinking that this will happen.

So the Deja vu' I'll be praying for is that my ideas will not only be received well, but that I'll be given the opportunity to put them into action. Because at the end of the day, the goal should be about improving/saving the lives of people diagnosed with cancer. And the fact that I talk like I have "Dr." in front of my name though I don't have it (yet), will no longer make me a professional threat (to the weak) but will be considered par for the course for someone as committed to my work as I am.

I'd also like to mention that another relative (cousin) who is also my age, recently lost her 12 year battle with breast cancer on 2/12/2014. So a HUGE part of my "funky" mood about cancer over the past month or so is about the fact that it's such a HUGE part of not only my professional life, but my personal life as well. And while my Cousin and I weren't very close, I'm pretty close to her mother who I always see when I go home to NC no matter how busy I am and her daughter who is very close to my own daughter. RIP Cousin!!


  1. Sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin. I completely relate to you on the research problems though. In my case it's more of a rank problem than a URM thing, but it really does suck not getting recognized for all the hard work you put in.

    1. Thank you D. I often have days where I ask myself why I continue to do research with all the obstacles. But until I start med school, this is what I'll be doing so I'm going to make the best of it!